Tokyo Ghoul- A Reflection

Warning: The following article contains spoilers and graphic images of the series.

I sat down today to catch up on a few series I have been wanting to watch. One of them being the much anticipated horror series, Tokyo Ghoul. I for one love horror anime because not only is it a refresher from the more colorful and silly anime, but they are created for the mature audiences with rock hard stomach’s. Series such as Hellsing, Elfen Lied and Ayakashi keep us on the edge of our seats and constantly having us point and scream “Oh my God!” at the screen. Tokyo Ghoul, with just it’s first two episodes, did just that to me.

I hadn’t heard of the series until I happened to come upon it while browsing upcoming anime titles for a previous article. All I saw were the words “Tokyo Ghoul Coming This July” followed by this:

Ok. You have my atention.

So I thought, “Yes! I need to find out more about this!” As it turns out, the anime would be an adaptation of an ongoing manga series of the same name. I decided to read the first volume or so and I have to admit, I wasn’t really into it. The art style reminded me more of a manga aimed towards a younger crowd. I had thought, “Hmm, if this is a series about eating people, why is it so cartoonish?”

Case in point.

So, I gave up on it; focusing my otaku needs on other series. That is, until the PV came out.

That was back in April and while I didn’t continue to read the manga, I was, however, looking forward to the anime. The first thing that came to mind was the animation. How could this art that I had thought silly and juvenile in manga form, attract me so much now that it was animated? I mean, it’s downright beautiful; particularly with the brightly colored reds and purples placed in front of a dark, dimly lit city. I felt like your typical anime watcher that is only interested in a series just because of the anime. And I am not a fan of that. I know of so many people who refuse to read an anime’s original manga because it’s either too long or they don’t like reading. I feel that if one can binge watch at least half a series, they should be able to make time to read an appreciate the original work to an extent. It’s one thing to give it a shot and not like it than it is to not even try at all. Of course, that is just my opinion and there are many out there who disagree with me.

When the second PV came out not only did I know I needed to watch this, but I knew I just HAD to continue reading the manga. How could I not? With under 100 chapters, I can definitely catch up in the time it takes for another episode to come out. The second trailer flashes numerous characters and elements I had either not yet encountered or knew too little of. My biggest yearning was to find out more about main character Ken Kaneki and his incredibly unique look. I had so many questions about his damn face.

Turns out it’s a mask.

Be sure to check back for my review on the series along with some brutal gifs and images!

The Return of Hellsing


Since this is October, the month of scares and horrors, I feel it is best to announce some good news. As now Funimation announced the DVD releases of the original Hellsing anime, a re-release of the first four Hellsing Ultimate OVAs, and one of the most anticipated news thus far, the release of Hellsing Ultimate 5-8.

Hellsing has always been a personal favorite of mine; both in manga and anime form. The clever writing and the magnificent artwork of Kouta Hirano makes this tale one of the best series we have seen in the States.

The Hellsing anime has been a long and difficult struggle for the series. Back in 2003, former company Pioneer released the original 13 episode anime on DVD and had it briefly run on cable television. Then in 2006, to make a more faithful adaptation of the Hellsing series, they released the Hellsing Ultimate OVAs in different installments within the last few years. Pioneer then became Geneon. However, in December 2007, Geneon announced they would no longer be distributing anime; which left the fourth OVA one of the last thing release. Then in 2010, Funimation at Anime Expo announce they acquired some old Geneon titles one of which was the original Hellsing anime and the Hellsing Ultimate OVAs which met with much fan fare. After two years of being kept in the dark on whether they were going to release it, they announce on their website the release dates of both products. Right now Hellsing Ultimate 9 was released earlier this year and the anticipated final episode will be release in Japan at the end of 2012.

I am hyped to see the good old Hellsing series getting another shot at a release. As well the return of Alucard and the rest of Hellsing gang.

The Best Book I Ever Played

I really like Alan Wake. The game, not the dude. Although the dude’s all right. I mean, the game’s about him. But dammit, I’m not even out of the first paragraph and I’m getting sidetracked.


I just played through all of Alan Wake again, because it’s just a good time. For those of you not familiar, it’s a horror action game with shooting and flashlights. Okay, that probably just confused you even more if you didn’t know about the game already. So let’s take things slow….baby.


In Alan Wake, you play as the title character, an author who is experiencing a bit of writer’s block. His wife decides to take him on a vacation so he can relax, get away from distractions, and maybe even get a bit of writing done. Unfortunately, her vacation spot of choice happens to be on a lake that’s just brimming with evil. Like, 10% water, 84% evil, 6% fish. The fish are also evil. Well, presumably. Anyways, things happen, I don’t really want to get TOO into the story for the sake of avoiding major spoilers, but you end up crashing your car, getting out and finding yourself trapped in a forest at night. Well, that’s not good!


Hope you like forests and darkness, because you’ll be getting a lot of that here!


And it gets even worse when you start getting attacked by weird shadowy dudes. And it starts to get weird when you start finding pages from a manuscript you supposedly wrote, which write about things that have yet to occur. And they always seem to be right. Well, either you’re just the best damn writer in the world, or things are weeeeeird. Spoiler alert, it’s the latter. So you wander around trying to figure out where your wife is, why that shadowy jerk with the axe seems to have a problem with you, and how to get back to town. Mind you, this is just the opening to the story. It gets a lot more in-depth, a lot weirder, and a lot more awesome as it progresses. The story itself is divided up into six episodes, plus two bonus “specials”. Each episode has these manuscript pages scattered throughout it, plus more of those shadow jerks who are out to ruin your good time (and your nice tweed jacket).


When was the last time you say a video game hero in a tweed jacket? I mean he’s got leather elbow patches and everything. Honestly, I think it’s awesome.


The story plays out like a book. Which makes sense, because you’re a writer, and you’re finding manuscript pages. There are times when Alan will narrate what’s going on, and it’s very well written. If this whole thing was a book, I would read it, and enjoy it. But thankfully, it’s a game instead, so we get to experience it more intimately, by putting yourself right into the action and the mystery. This game is the sort of thing that makes me very, very happy, just that it exists. I’ve always believed that video games are the perfect medium for story-telling, and this game is a great example. This could easily be a book or a movie, but I feel that it would lose a lot of what makes it great if it was forced into either of those roles. But I’m rambling a bit. The point is, it plays out like a horror book, complete with loads of metaphors that would make Adam Thomas proud. And yes, that’s what crossed my mind when I was going through it. Shut up.


But just having a great story doesn’t make the game good. Without a good engine and well-built gameplay mechanics, the whole thing would fall short. And that would just be wasted potential. It’s always a shame when a good idea is brought down by poor implementation. But thankfully, Alan Wake is not victim to this issue. Phew. The controls can be a little clunky at times, namely when attempting to perform cinematic dodges to avoid your foes, but aside from that I never had any issues. And…I won’t lie, most of my cinematic dodges were frantically performed while running away from the enemy, so that could be a part of it.


So the iconic image of this game is the silhouette of Alan Wake carrying a flashlight in one hand and a revolver in the other. That alone shows you what a good chunk of this game is going to be like. You’re going to spend a lot of time in the dark, shining your flashlight left and right, looking for something to shoot, or for hidden messages painted around the town that only appear under the light. Which makes me wonder why people don’t see that shit during the day and wonder where these arrows are going. But plotholes be damned.


Every enemy you come across in the game is going to be covered in a cloak of moving shadows, shielding them from your bullets, fists, and hurtful words. But thankfully, you’re armed with a flashlight. Or flares. Or a flaregun. Or flashbang grenades. Each of which can cut through those shadows like a very, very bright knife. Once their shields are gone, bang bang bang. That means you shoot them. And then they burst into flames, their bodies disappearing right before your eyes! I love it when enemies disappear after you kill them. None of that guilt that comes with a big bloated corpse sitting there staring up at you with those dead eyes. Except in games where you can interact with the corpses, then I’m okay with them. I can’t tell you how many corpses I dragged around in Fallout 3 from place to place, or put in funny poses. Good times.


So you wander around in the dark a lot, going from forests to town to a lakeside lodge to a farmhouse and other such things. Everywhere you go, you uncover more and more of the story, and try not to get brutally murdered.


I wonder if anyone will notice this

Alan Wake’s ready for battle!


The game has a really neat atmosphere, as well. Everything works together to make it creepy as hell, and you never know when and where enemies will be popping up, or when the next hidden cache of weapons will be. Some times I was overloaded with ammunition and flares, other times I was running around screaming like a little girl (yes, me, the player) trying to avoid getting chopped to pieces because I didn’t want to use the last of my shotgun ammunition in case something big and unpleasant popped up. Now, this being my second time through the game, this run through I had a much better idea of when I was going to be stripped of my firearms, so I didn’t feel the need to ration myself quite so much, but my first time through the game I mostly just used my pistol on everything, and then became sad when the episode came to an end and I lost my half-dozen flare gun shots. But then, I’ve always been one to hoard all of my ammunition in video games. And then you get to that obligatory point where they take everything away from you and force you to start again with nothing, and then I yell at the cat, because it can’t yell back.


Okay, I’ve gotten a little sidetracked. Did I mention that Alan Wake has AWESOME shadow effects? Because yeah, it does. Which is pretty important, if the majority of your game is going to be based around shadows and flashlights and the like. When I was playing through it this time, when I felt relatively safe, I would sometimes just wander around shining my light on things and observing the shadows created by it. This, of course, has one MAJOR weakness that I simply cannot overlook. There was no combination of buttons that allowed me to make little shadow puppets with my hand. I mean, yeah, I would have had to put the gun down to do it, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your art.


But yes. Shadows. Flashlight. Manuscript. Story.


I don’t have an insightful caption for this one. Don’t judge me.


I’m going to launch into a bit of a spoilerish part now and discuss a couple aspects of the story, so I apologize for that. If you are not interested in reading that, skip ahead and I’ll end my spoiler with a picture of a bear. So when you see the bear, you know you are safe to read again. At which point I’ll probably briefly discuss the semi-sequel, American Nightmare.


Okay. So, in this game it turns out that this place, Cauldron Lake, is home to something evil. Think Old God, think something like Cthulhu but with less tentacles (I hope). It uses the creative power of…well, creative people. Authors, musicians, poets, painters, that sort of thing. It warps their creation, breathes life into it. It steals Alan’s wife and forces him to write it a manuscript, which starts to turn more and more into a horror story about darkness taking over the world. It uses those words, imbued with its evil power, to alter reality and make these things start to happen. Which is why when you find a manuscript page, you know that whatever you find is something that is coming up. Often it serves as an early-warning system, if you can find the pages in time. But that’s the basic story. Evil thing takes wife, makes you write a story that starts coming true, but you manage to write an escape into your story and get out to try to defeat the evil of the lake and save your wife. And the story goes from there. And you get into some pretty zany misadventures. Pretty much the best moment of the game is when you head to the farm of two crazy old rockers interned in a mental clinic of sorts. They used to be big heavy metal musicians, but of course were influenced by the dark presence within the lake. When you reach their farm, you find the stage where they apparently used to have concerts, complete with a giant fire-breathing dragon, fireworks everywhere, and a kickass sound system.


So you spend a bit of time there fighting to heavy metal music, defending the stage from the shadowy creatures while fireworks are going off left and right, stage lights are melting things, and all sorts of madness. It’s pretty damn epic.


But yeah, that’s the sort of basic story. Time for a bear picture, just in case anyone didn’t want spoilers.



RAWR BEAR. Theoretically once I have edited this, there is a bear picture in there now. Because awesome.


Before I touch on American Nightmare, I did want to give a proper shout-out to Alan Wake for having a really enjoyable companion character. Barry, I love you man. He’s a fat little sarcastic dude who happens to be Alan Wake’s agent, and he accompanies you for parts of the game. He’s not the most useful companion character gaming has produced, but he is damn entertaining. And even playing through the game the second time, I still got a good laugh out of Barry. Just wanted to give him an honourable mention here, since he came close to be used as an example on my companion character article I put up a few months ago.


This one’s for you, Barry.


But now the sequel. It’s not a real sequel, it’s a much smaller game that takes place in a more limited area. Alan Wake’s American Nightmare was released as an Xbox Live Arcade title, with a PC version coming about three months later. Oh, on that note, Alan Wake was originally only on consoles, but fans successfully got them to port it over to PC, where they managed to recoup most if not all of their development costs for the port on just the first weekend. Mostly thanks to Steam.


Though it’s not a proper sequel, Remedy Entertainment has said that they are not yet done with the Alan Wake franchise, so there is definitely hope for something more in the future. And thankfully when they release a smaller game, they give it a smaller price tag. American Nightmare is only fifteen bucks, which is quite a difference compared to a normal full release. Right now, Alan Wake is available on Steam for thirty bucks.


Anyways, American Nightmare continues where Alan Wake left off. Well, to be precise it continues where the “specials” left off. Without getting into too much, you’re hunting an evil version of yourself, because evil twins or clones or whatever are awesome. You go around shooting shadow dudes and exploring the three various maps, which you end up going back to a few times each. So there’s not as large a world as the main game to wander around in, but that’s okay, because this game works pretty well for itself.


Also very notable in this game, Alan has abandoned his signature jacket in exchange for a plaid shirt. As someone whose wardrobe consists of 80% plaid dress shirts, I wholeheartedly approve.


Plaid shirt and a nailgun. Alan’s off to work at the ass-kicking factory.


This game is a lot more combat-oriented. Ammo is now much less of an issue, because ammo boxes are scattered more generously around the map, and there are a few ammo supply caches that straight-up refill all of your ammo. So you spend a lot less time worrying about running low on ammo. Plus there are more weapons. In the first game, you always had your pistol, and you had your choice between a double-barrelled shotgun, a pump-action shotgun, or a hunting rifle. And then the flare gun. Those were your guns. In this one, there’s a submachine gun, a nail gun, two different pistols, hunting rifle, assault rifle, shotgun, sawed off shotgun, combat shotgun, and maybe another gun or two I didn’t bump into. So you get more options, which is nice when you’re going around shooting dudes.


The combat also flows a lot better this time around, I found. Which is good, because this game is a lot more built towards it. It focusses less on the atmosphere, although it still manages to give off a creepy vibe. I didn’t get as many scares out of this game, but I still had a good time shooting dudes.


Also, every other character you talk to that isn’t your evil clone thing? Is a pretty lady. I know, right? It’s like this game was built just for me! Guns, pretty ladies, and monsters! Just my sort of thing.


Despite being smaller than the base game, American Nightmare also manages to feature a bunch of new enemies that didn’t pop up in the first game. Which is a big benefit for a game that centers around the combat. The freakiest one, by far is the bird dudes. That shit freaked me right out.


Also, the cutscenes in the game are stellar. Just great. It uses actual actors and a melding of CGI and live-action stuff, which ends up looking really, really good. I mean, remember when video games used to try to do stuff like that? It generally looked just…just awful. And then it was pretty much given up, as far as I’m aware. But here it’s done, and it’s done well. The actor who plays Alan Wake does a great job, especially when portraying his evil self. There are a lot of spots in the game that have televisions set up, and you can use them to see a little pre-recorded of your evil twin dude doing…well, evil things. It’s what evil twins do. And it looks awesome.


This is what the cutscenes look like. This is the Alan Wake / Alan Wake’s Evil Twin Dude actor. Classy as hell.


The game also includes an arcade mode where you’re dropped in a small area (the first one that I played was a graveyard) and try to survive for ten minutes. Score multipliers, weapons, points, all those things that arcade modes in video games have. I tried it out briefly, and it was pretty fun, considering the varying enemy types, the different weapons, and the improved combat system from the first game.


But I’ve rambled enough for now, I suppose. So I’ll end this post by saying that right now, at the time of this writing, Alan Wake is on sale on Steam for 75% off. The whole franchise, including the first game, collector’s edition extras (including the soundtrack and oh man is the soundtrack good), and American Nightmare, is only ten bucks. Definitely well worth the price, in my oh-so-humble opinion. And on sale all weekend, until Monday.


Have you played Alan Wake? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Do you just want somebody to talk to? Leave a comment and help me justify spending almost twenty hours playing these games in the last week!

Why Horror Games Can Scare Us Best


I hear you cry.

I suppose I’d do well to introduce myself then. My name is Scott Mendenko, but if you know me (you don’t) you know me as Mascott. I’ve done just about everything there is to do on the internet – webcomics, PR, award-winning public television, interactive fiction,  classic film retrospectives, directed a web series or two, and, most recently, weekly zombie-based television recaps. 

Today on Ogeeku, however, I’ll be talking about horror games, but allow me to preface this with some general context. Recently we’ve seen a surge of  horror movies coming out, all trying to imitate the style (and cost) of the BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. The market is becoming over saturated with horror movies, most of them not very good, but we, as Ogeeku, take solace in knowing that the scares we can get in a game are superior to those in the local theater. The reason for this is the same reason some of us might prefer games to films – the story we play is no one’s but our own. Yelling, “Don’t go in the basement!” at a screen in a movie theater doesn’t change the fact that that dumb girl is going to go down there. But when you’re playing a game, you were the one that pressed A to open the door, you were the one that pressed forward to walk down the stairs, and you were the one that flipped out and dropped your controller and spilled cheese doodles fucking everywhere when the Mindworm popped out of the can of sardines. (Wuss.)

Sure, it’s not like there was any OTHER dark, horrifying and disconcertingly sticky corridor to trudge down, right? So you should just expect everything coming your way. But games give you an “illusion of choice” that players of the first Bioshock will be intimately familiar with. As an abstraction, as much “choice” as we’re given in a game, we’re still following a trail of gameplay left there for us by the game designers. The better this illusion of choice is maintained, the more immersed you are in the game – in the case of a horror game, that means you’re that much more affected (re:scared) by what’s on the screen.

It’s because of this sort of scenario that Games are unique when faced up against a horror movie or scary book. Or, more broadly speaking, “Interactive Entertainment” is the only medium that lets you make the choices that scare you, simulating some shade of what you might feel in the town with spooky kids or on a cold, dark spaceship.

One of the most interesting things about horror games is that it’s one of the few types of games that (only one I can think of but I don’t want to be wrong) offers a two-way system of control. A sort of force-feedback for your mind. In the same way that vibration in a controller might alert you to something in the game, a horror game will offer feedback by the venue of scaring you. It’s really interesting to think about how a game controls you at the same time you’re controlling it.

There are PLENTY of games that illustrate these points, but I’m going to give you just a few of my favorites that really fit.


Limbo was a little Xbox Live Arcade game that came out a year or two ago during one of the Summer of Arcade promotions. And while it’s not strictly a horror game, there’s at least one sequence in the game that is absolutely terrifying.

(If you’re a normal human being, playing the game for the first time, and not someone who’s memorized the solutions so you look cool recording a YouTube video running on the farthest right edge of the screen, the spider will be right on your ass that entire time, and the screen zooms in when he’s close..)

The spider chase scene is one of the most memorable moments in that game, and at that point you know that if the spider catches you not only will he skewer you like a shish-kebab, but that it’s going to be gruesome. There’s no other choice for you to make here except “run away from the spider,” but when you make a mistake, you get instant feedback in the fact that, “Oh, my little guy is…he’s half…now.”


Now this one is taking the place of Resident Evil 4 on this list because I’d be citing them for the same thing and honestly I think Dead Space did it a little better.

WARNING! The following video is filled with gore! If you’re not okay with that, you’ll have to just read the words and trust me.

“Body Horror” is defined by Wikipedia as a form of horror “in which  in which the horror is principally derived from the graphic destruction or degeneration of the body.” When it’s done very well, you have this primal feeling somewhere deep down inside where you feel what’s happening on the screen. Somehow your brain imagines being what it’d feel like to have your arm ripped off, so you cringe and hold your arm close because you love your arm and you’d never do anything to make it leave. If you’ve played Dead Space, you know that the core combat mechanic is based on dismemberment. It lives for the gross-out in a similar way to THE FLY but also adopts style from ALIEN and even THE THING.

Now, I wouldn’t say that Dead Space fits this definition directly, as the horror isn’t principally derived from that element, the experience is actually much more nuanced than EA’s marketing people might have you believe, but you can see what I’m trying to get at. In fact you could even argue that Dead Space is the exact antithesis to this idea, as dismemberment in this case is 95% of the time “good” in that it is what defeats enemies and allows you to continue forward in the game, but the deaths in that game, which happen to you and your character, are still always unexpected and gruesome, and DO give you that cringing feeling. I’ll let you decide for yourself whether or not Dead Space counts.


If you were to ask most people for an example of a horror game, most of them would probably say the name of a survival horror game or franchise. Valve took a novel approach to this in 2008 when they released Left4Dead, asking players, “What if you didn’t have to do this alone?”

Left4Dead was the first mainstream horror game to integrate co-operative online multiplayer. (Well, actually, the first to do it well) Valve, being one of the best developers in the world, (I will fight ANYONE over this) designed a game around experiencing challenges as horror, and allowing you to have those experiences with your friends. There’s a reason that people watch horror movies with their friends or significant others – When you’re with someone else, something scary now becomes something fun later.

As notable as the design of Left4Dead’s co-op was, I’d like to take a minute to point out how genius the idea for the A.I. Director was. For those unfamiliar with the game, Left4Dead has a perpetually unseen character, an AI presence presiding over your game to give you the best experience possible. Valve calls this presence “The Director,” in that it’s not only pretending to be the director of the film you’re playing through, it is directing the way your game flows. It watches statistics and data from your playthrough, everything from the number of bullets you have left to the amount of time you spend clearing out an area, and caters the encounter to that flow. If it sees that you’re getting stressed – you’re running around wildly, making a lot of mistakes, your accuracy is falling – the director might subtly dial back the difficulty a bit. On the reverse side, if you’re playing with three great friends like the well oiled machine you are, you might just end up fighting two Tanks simultaneously on top of the hospital in the No Mercy finale. The Director can even organize more elaborate scares, things like lights turning off where they might not always, affecting the weather, or even the time of day. More and more you see these perpetually generating iOS games like Canabalt or, more recently, Temple Run, that make the game up as you go along based on your past performance. A little bit of that success can be credited to Left4Dead’s director.


Mid-way through the PS1’s life cycle, a game called Silent Hill came out. It was chided as a “shameless Resident Evil clone” by GamePro, but it used a different approach to horror than Resident Evil had. Instead of relying on zombie dogs popping out of windows, Silent Hill worked hard to create an atmosphere of horror for the player. A year after the PS2’s release, Silent Hill’s sequel showed up, and it was unlike anything anyone had seen before.

While the other games on this list are fairly recent and still very available, Silent Hill 2 is just old enough that a lot of young people might not have gotten the chance to play it, and rare enough that you might have to call ahead to a few different GameStops to find it. (Take it from a game collector. People do not sell this game.) But if you can find this little bastard, and you can appreciate great atmosphere, great storytelling, and are willing to put up with terrible combat for great atmosphere and storytelling, you need to get your hands on Silent Hill 2.

Silent Hill 2 is like the Twin Peaks of video games if Twin Peaks was three seasons long and they were all fully coherent. James Sunderland receives a letter from his wife telling him to meet her in their “Special Place,” in Silent Hill. The catch is that James’ wife has been dead for three years. He arrives in the town to find it abandoned, and crawling with terribly hostile monsters roaming the streets, not to mention incredibly foggy. In the game you end up going from one side of the town to another, solving puzzles while simultaneously becoming so terrified that regular things might not be scary for you anymore.

One of the most amazing parts of Silent Hill 2 is the fact that it is so filled to the brim with metaphor that you could just dip a spoon into it and make the tastiest symbolism pie. Every enemy you fight in the game is a manifestation of James’ sexual repression and frustration. (With the possible exception of Pyramid Head, depending on how you interpret the Silent Hill mythos.) You end up less playing a game with an A to B to C structure than an exercise in “What the hell is going on here?”

Atmosphere is arguably the most important part of a horror game, whether that’s a survival horror title like Dead Space or a Co-Op shooter like Left4Dead, but Silent Hill 2 absolutely nailed it in 2001. The video below is a small clip of the gameplay look for things like how the shadows are cast, and how slowly and methodically the camera moves.

It feels like at any moment something will jump out, and that’s because about 50% of the time you’d be right.

The game itself isn’t even designed very well. It’s light years behind anything we’d do today, obviously, but even in 2001 it’s just before that era when developers started to understand how to do 3D games. (GTA 3 was released just 28 days after Silent Hill 2.) In fact, today some people might consider it damned near unplayable. But what it did right was beyond the scope of gameplay, and that’s why it still shows up on Top Ten lists, even today.


I’ll leave you with this damned simple but infinitely applicable quote. In his book, “The Art of Game Design,” Jesse Schell puts it best by saying, “The game is not the experience. The game enables the experience, but it is not the experience.”

And that is why games have the opportunity to scare us better than anything else.

Mascott dedicates this article to all the haters who saw the title of this article and thought, “Oh, if Silent Hill 2 is on this list I will absolutely shit.” Everyone else can follow him on Twitter.